Growing up as a teenager I was unaware of how different situations in my family life would cause me future pain. I didn’t realize how easily words could wound, or how harmful deeds could place artificial barriers within my personality. I was especially unaware of the place in which I sought love & affection would often be the ones who wounded, or hurt me the most, my family, above all others. Be that as it was, I would have rejoiced in the fact that family pain would be the primary link to making God not so hard to find.
Pastor Joel taught us several weeks ago that God’s primary nature is Love, of which I, as a young man, was in desperate need of. Nonetheless, the inspiration of pain didn’t cause me to seek God immediately, but rather, helped me to build an incredible defense mechanism that would become the trademark of unintentionally following the path of my broken family humanity, anger! I cultivated a life of distrust and self- protection, always guarded against allowing anyone to unveil the wounds of my insecurities. When I thought about God, I created Him from my own image and thereby began developing an overtly strong since of victimhood and entitlement. Somehow, the spirit of God was able to help me see myself for who I was, and it occurred to me how difficult it was to show love while feeling as though I hadn’t received much. It was at this critical juncture in my life that I decided to put an end to my inward struggle with bitterness and I finally decided to attempt to find God for “who He was/is” and not who I created him to be.
This is where Luke 11 came into play before I ever knew the passage from reading it: “9 “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, it will be opened. Now which one of you fathers will his son ask for a fish, and instead of a fish, he will give him a snake? 12 Or he will even ask for an egg, and his father will give him a scorpion? 13 So if you, despite being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” After seeking God’s true face for quite some time, I was inextricably brought into a tender relationship of love and care, true love, true care!
It dawned on me how readily available God is to His creation if only the human soul would be willing to acknowledge its need for its Creator. Jesus was simply teaching His disciples that God will arise and act on behalf of those in need of His heeling touch. Looking back, it became clear to me that I may not have known God in such a way if I hadn’t come to the end of the foolish games I was playing behind bitterness, resentment, and anger. Without the willingness to be completely vulnerable before God, I would not have been able to recognize my dire need of Him whose image I’m created in, instead of “he” whom I created. I created a God that would justify my anger and empower my endless fascination of victimhood, instead of looking at the man in the mirror and ascribing the blame precisely where it belonged.
Today, I’m extremely grateful of the fact that Luke 11, knock and I will enter, is available to all people of any religion and from all walks of life including those with the most challenging stumbling blocks. Jesus, our Lord and Messiah, is available to all who seek Him, including to those who believe they already have Him. Seek God in humility and compunction and you will indeed find God who is prepared to bring heeling to the wounds that broken humanity has inoculated each and everyone of us in one way or another. Today, God desires to be found by you, your loved ones, and even those who need your forgiveness.